Posted by admin on July 17th, 2008 — Posted in Gambling Wheel, Humor, Online Games
After the tour de force in Las Vegas, where the WSOP 2008 just took place, the next poker event of the year is The European Poker Tour.
A series of major live poker tournaments in Europe, the European Poker Tour kicks off in September 2008 in Barcelona, Spain with the first of nine events scheduled from September 10 to the 14, and it culminates in a Grand Final event hosted at the Monte Carlo Casino in Monaco in the beautiful French Riviera.
Texas Hold’ em poker players, poker fans and journalists from all over the world will all gather for season 5 of one of the biggest , hottest, and most televised European poker event. Launched in 2004 as the answer to a stunning increase in interest in poker games like Texas Holdem, The European Poker Tour was a huge success right since the beginning, immediately becoming the premier host for major European poker league.
With rising buys-in and lucrative pots, today the EPT is viewed as one of the world’s most prestigious poker tournaments alongside the World Poker Tour. It gathers the crme de la crme of the poker players, and it takes place in some of Europe’s most historic cities and casinos, including Barcelona, Prague, Copenhagen, London, Warsaw, San Remo and Monaco.
All EPT tournaments are No Limit Texas Hold’em, with a buy-in of $8000 for the vast majority and a buy-in of 10,000 for the Grand Final in Monte Carlo. So, as the Spaniards would say “Que vivan los juegos de cartas!
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Posted by admin on June 8th, 2008 — Posted in Humor
My source at the Blair House told me a funny story the other day. It seems that Karl Rove stepped into the President’s bedroom and stood in front of the man-length mirror. He said, “Mirror, Mirror on the Wall, Who’s the greatest”
“It’s not working right!”
Rove tuned and said, “Mr. President! I was just combing my hair.”
“You seem to be good at that, Karl.”
Rove said, “Oh, there is no special skill required for comb”
I meant “Lying!”
“Okay, I was using your mirror. I wanted to make sure it gave the right answer: George W. Bush is the Greatest Man on the Planet Earth!”
The president said, “I told you it was broken. It keeps saying Dick Cheney is the Sneakiest Man on Earth. It never says who is the most powerful.”
Karl Rove promised the President that he would have the mirror repaired by the White House Mirror Maintenance Department.
After the mirror was repaired, the President said,
“Mirror, Mirror on the Wall,
Who is the greatest man of all?”
The mirror answered as follows:
“Mr. President, I’ve news for thou.
The Greatest of all is President HU Jintao.”
The president went to the Oval Office and sat in his chair. “Hu Jintao?” he said aloud as Karl Rove came in the room.
“Yes, but make sure you pronounce it right when you meet him.”
“Oh! Hi, Karl! Meet who?”
“Hu Jintao! Do you still want to go to Mongolia on your trip? It’s kind of out of the way.”
“Yes! The mirror says that Hu Jintao is the most powerful man on earth. I’ve got to meet him.”
Karl Rove shook his head and said, “George, I’m sending the CIA to update you on China this afternoon.” Rove left the office.
The President sat back in his chair and said, “I wonder why he’s doing that? I get bad publicity from dealing with those guys at the CIA.” He beeped his secretary and said, “Cancel my meeting with the CIA. I’ll be doing laps at that time.”
The End
copyright©John T. Jones, Ph.D.2005
John T. Jones, Ph.D. (tjbooks@hotmail.com)is a retired R&D engineer and VP of a Fortune 500 company. He is author of detective & western novels, nonfiction (business, scientific, engineering), poetry, etc. Former editor of international trade magazine. Jones is Executive Representative of International Wealth Success.
More info: http://www.tjbooks.com
Business web site: http://www.bookfindhelp.com (IWS wealth-success books and kits and business newsletters / TopFlight flagpoles)
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Posted by admin on May 19th, 2008 — Posted in Humor
Copyright The Quipping Queen 2005.
IT’S AWESOME AUGUST AGAIN
Or, what else did you think it was?
**Compiled by Lady Beatrice Blitterlees and edited by Lord Earl Craboon
August, the eighth month of the year, is to put it bluntly …the worst of a long, hot summer or more likely the armpit of an incredibly sweltering one.
If you’re in a quandary about why a cow would want to jump over the moon, who let the screaming meemies loose, and where the damn dog ran away with the spoon — you need a vacation!
So kick back, toss your TV remote control and cell phone in the lake, and try fly-swatting for a change!
On the other hand, for all those who have to report for work and suffer from far too many liquid lunches, limp watercress sandwiches, and lightweight daydreams, consider celebrating Men from Mars Day. (That’s when masked men with maps and Mayflower Madams on their minds descend from simmering, sleek, sight-seeing spaceships to discover they’ve not only arrived on the wrong planet, but also 3,542 years too late for the beach party. )
So without further adieu, adios, a rivederci, au revoir, auf Wiedersehen, not to mention cheerio, ciao, pip pip, tah tah, toodle-oo, see you later Alligator, and that wretched standby … “Have a Nice Day” - take our advice …enjoy these good-humored, good-for-nothing activities that exemplify the merry month of August.
August 1 - BATHTUB RACING DAY (Grab an old bathtub, put on some wheels and an old motor…then find a place to let’em rip and roar!)
August 2 - NATIONAL ABBREVIATION APPRECIATION DAY (Time to celebrate the ancient sport of skinny-dipping, the science of getting down to bare essentials, and the fine art of bikinis, briefs and box shorts.)
August 3 - ABOMINABLE SNOWMAN RECOGNITION DAY (A great way to honor weird things that are bound to melt sooner or later and leave a smelly mess behind.)
August 4 - BOB DID IT DAY (Anything you’d dearly love to pin on dear old Bob, now’s the time to do it).
August 5 - DEVIL’S ADVOCATE DAY (Time to get out your bull horns, slip into a flaming red spandex suit, and grab a rusty pitchfork - cause there’s a trial balloon or a sacred cow with your name on it!)
August 6 - NATIONAL HYPOCHONDRIAC APPRECIATION DAY (It’s the annual “My Ailment’s More Serious Than Your’s Is” Swap Meet & Pity-Pot Party).
August 7 - LEFT-FIELD AWARENESS DAY (Time to honor all those things that come appear out of nowhere and hit you on the head every now and then like bird droppings, old flames, and visits from long-lost relatives.)
August 8 - SCARLET PIMPERNEL & MATA HARI DAY (Time to go incognito - be your favorite mystery man or maven - what’s your nom de plume and your game?)
August 9 - ALPHABET APPRECIATION DAY - “B” (Time to talk about people, places and things beginning with the letter “B” …like “Bucky Beaver”, “Bobo”(Alabama), and “bogeys”.)
August 10 - UGLY ART & ARCHITECTURE DAY (Time to award the “No. 1 Eyesore” in your community …hint it’s the thing that even a flea market couldn’t sell).
August 11 - LEO RECOGNITION DAY (This is payback time when you get to showcase those smug, stubborn, sulky sorts you know strut about and stroke their locks, play with their curls, or simply wear a crown to cover their over-sized cerebellums).
August 12 - BACKHOUSE BEAUTIFICATION DAY (Yup it’s time to remodel, redecorate or revive that classic piece of American architecture - the mobile ablution hut - better known as the cottage outhouse, the camp latrine, or the outdoor privy.)
August 13 - BEAT-AROUND-THE-BUSH DAY (A time-honored occasion to evade thorny issues, lead folks down the garden path, and practice your hem-and-hawing skills.)
August 14 - CLUTTERBUG & PACK-RAT APPRECIATION DAY (It’s never too late to recognize the contribution made by frenzied folks who are fond of paper, bits of string, broken pencils and old photographs…who’s your nomination?)
August 15 - GONG SHOW AWARD DAY (Is there a delightful ding-dong achievement waiting to be recognized in your workplace or neighborhood?)
August 16 - NATTY NAPKIN DAY (Why not celebrate one of the most overlooked pieces of puff we have today - the humble dickey, the cheery chin-wiper, or that breathtaking bib and tucker outfit.)
August 17 - BEST BILLBOARD IN TOWN AWARD (Time to choose your favorite outdoor ad, the one that makes you jump elegantly for joy, roll merrily in the street, or quietly split your sides laughing.)
August 18 - FAKE FLOWER RECOGNITION DAY (Time to plant those plastic pots of PVC pansies on the deck to impress your know-it-all in-laws or nosey neighbors.)
August 19 - THINGS YOU WISH YOU COULD PREDICT DAY (Time to put on your crash-helmet …cause this could be a real winner!)
August 20 - EXCESS BAGGAGE APPRECIATION DAY (There’s someone out there you know who always packs a 350-pound bag for an overnight trip somewhere.)
August 21 - BY-THE-BOOK REWARD DAY (A great occasion to honor those who never do a thing without consulting the operating instructions, or a policy and procedures manual.)
August 22 - NATIONAL BUTTER-FINGER APPRECIATION DAY (So who do you know who constantly drops the ball, can’t climb a slippery pole, and sucks their thumb a lot?)
August 23 - NATIONAL CAVE MAN RECOGNITION DAY (Time to honor the best breast-beater and burned beef barbecue cook you know.)
August 24 - COCKTAILS & CAPERS DAY (Time to see who can whip up the best blue blazer, daring Daiquiri, horse’s neck, old Hickory, Margarita, pink lady, or snappy sidecar without a recipe of course.)
August 25 - CRANKPOT APPRECIATION DAY (Yup… if there’s one category that needs validation it’s this one!)
August 26 - AAAH & OOOH AWARENESS DAY (Time to tell everyone you know what you want for your birthday, Christmas and Employee Appreciation Day.)
August 27 - STUFF YOU SHOULDN’T DO ON YOUR FIRST DAY ON THE JOB DAY (An occasion to honor the fine art of ridiculously pointless drama, incredibly bad timing, and inefficient use of someone else’s space.)
August 28 - MEN FROM MARS DAY (A good opportunity to check out the little green guys not to be confused with Men from Glad who grumble about carrying out your trash every week, adore swatting the occasional fly, and claim they were born with a convenient push-button TV remote control located on their navels naturally.)
August 29 - THINGS YOU SHOULDN’T LEND DAY (Let’s see, there’s your used dental floss, your pet boa, and your whoopee cushion…what else?)
August 30 - THINGS YOU SHOULDN’T KISS DAY (This is a long list: frogs and toads, Big Bird and the Blarney Stone not to mention cheap imitations of Prince Charming or the Princess of Prunes…)
August 31 - BIG FOOT APPRECIATION DAY (Time to ask all your favorite questions: “What size sneakers do you wear? Who cuts your hair? When can you come out and play?” )
About the Author
Lady Beatrice Blitterlees and her faithful consort Lord Earl Craboon have earned a rather ripsnorting reputation as goodwill gossip-mongers in the award-winning Court of The Quipping Queen
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Posted by admin on March 22nd, 2008 — Posted in Humor
Author/Narrator Stephen Schochet researched Hollywood and Disney
stories and lore for 10 years while giving tours of Hollywood.
He had the unique idea the stories could be told anywhere and
that’s what led him to create the critically acclaimed
audiobooks “Fascinating Walt Disney” and “Tales Of Hollywood”.
Here he shares some stories that happened while he was actually
giving tours:
On one tour I pointed out the Fox Plaza, the building that was
blown up in the movie Die Hard. A tourist asked me “How did they
put that building back together so fast?” * On the tour we stop
at Rodeo Drive. The people were returning to the bus after their
visit and Steve Garvey came walking by. A life long Dodger fan I
said,” Hi Steve.” Happy for the recognition, he came over to
meet the people on the bus. Unfortunately, the entire group was
from England and Germany and not a single person knew who he
was. * The day after OJ Simpson was arrested, I was doing a tour
where we stopped in front of the Chinese Theater. My customers
were looking at the handprints and footprints, while I stretched
my legs near a row of parked tour buses. Two men, one with a
filming camera approached me. “Hi We’re from CNN. Are you a tour
guide? We would like to interview you about OJ.” “Sure.” “Great.
Roll the camera. We’re talking to a Hollywood tour guide. So did
your customers ask you today about OJ’s house.” “Well today my
people are from Romania. They are here for the World Cup. I
don’t think they care about OJ.” “Well will you be adding OJ’s
house to the tour?” “Probably not because he lives west of the
405. We go east of the 405 and we are so pressed for time. I
wouldn’t be surprised if we have some guys who point at any old
house and claim that it’s OJ’s!” I was kidding but the reporter
took me quite seriously. “So tour guides do that do they? What
tour company do you work for?” I thought, who does this guy
think he is, Mike Wallace? I pointed at one of the buses owned
by a rival tour company. * When I first started training as a
tour bus driver I rode with other guides to see how they did it.
One guy, unfortunately did not endear himself to the customers
with a patter of stale and sometimes sexist jokes. At one point
he showed the Hollywood Sign, and told the tragic story of
actress Peg Entwistle, who unable to succeed in the transition
from stage to screen, jumped fifty feet to her death from the
top of the letter H. He finished the tale with the tagline,”Of
course the last person to jump was a tour guide who didn’t get
tipped.” There was a pause and then an Australian customer from
the back of the bus shouted out,” Oh yeah? Well there’ll be
another one tomorrow!”
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Posted by admin on March 16th, 2008 — Posted in Humor
Exhibiting overseas is one of the fastest and most cost effective ways to identify the best foreign markets for your products/services. International trade shows and fairs offer opportunities for multilateral contacts and business deals. They allow you to test your product’s export suitability; explore the strength and scope of your competition; and gain exposure to potential suppliers, in-country distributors and customers before making any sizable financial commitments. However, to effectively trade internationally, top management must commit to developing foreign markets.
More than 2,000 shows are organized worldwide each year, and approximately 150 of these events have significant global attraction. Most are held in the major trade show centers in the United States, Germany, France, Italy and the United Kingdom. The following A-Z guidelines will help to take the fear and anxiety out of your overseas exhibiting ventures:
Ask questions and thoroughly research overseas shows to find the ones that attract your target market. A good starting point is the U.S. Foreign Commercial Service (FSC), part of the International Trade Administration of the Department of Commerce. Other sources of information include banks, trade associations, foreign embassies and consulates, bi-national chambers of commerce and the Internet.
Book space early. Allocation for space is a “first-come, first-served” basis. Applications for space need to be submitted as early as possible 12-18 months prior to the event. Reservations are made with the show organizer or their international representative. Most of the large shows, especially the German ones, have global sales offices.
Coordinate shipping arrangements. Most international trade shows have an officially designated freight forwarder who is familiar with all the relevant details. They will handle the invoicing, arrange for licenses and declarations, prepare packing list, issue bills of lading, handle insurance and prepare all necessary documentation. A duty charge is not normally assessed on equipment, unless it is destined to remain in the country after the show ends. An international carnet facilitates importation and movement of samples and professional equipment between countries.
Determine that your product complies with international technical and safety standards. Germany, in particular, has extremely stringent laws regarding testing products to comply with applicable specifications. Overseas companies are allowed to exhibit products at German trade fairs before their products have been inspected. Formal certification of required is necessary to legally sell your products in Germany. Certain types of merchandise are also subject to specialized safety codes and technical requirements. It is advisable to use a local consultant to help you through the compliance process.
Establish a realistic budget. Costs of overseas shows vary widely, depending on a host of variables, for example, location, exchange rates, time of the year. In addition to your display, shipping, promotional and staff costs, also take into consideration, import duties and export regulations. As a safety net, add 25% to your budget to cover unexpected costs, tipping and exchange rate fluctuations.
Familiarize yourself with overseas union policies. Strong unions exist in the U.K., France and Italy. Understand and appreciate the rules and treat everyone with respect. Offering to buy your union labor lunch or a beer, as well as tipping, often helps to minimize pilfering, loss and damage. When working with contractors, always have someone who can speak the language and give logistical instructions. Arrive at least a week prior to the show to iron out any kinks.
Get to know pricing. Your company representatives should be prepared to negotiate and agree to terms at the show. They should also be fully conversant with tariffs, the European Community’s Value Added Tax (VAT) and other tax implications, and importation and delivery procedures. When quoting prices, most buyers expect prices quoted c.i.f. (cost, insurance, freight), including duties, taxes and other charges. For a small fee, local freight forwarders will assist and prepare c.i.f. costs.
Have arrangements for credit and payment. You should make arrangements with a bank that has international banking affiliations to facilitate your banking needs. Discuss arrangements for transfer of funds, letters of credit and bills of exchange. Potential customers or representatives will expect a credit check. Individual profiles on overseas companies can be found through the World Trader’s Data Reports, available for a small fee from the US Commercial Service.
Since exchange rates fluctuate daily and can affect pricing, especially when dealing with Latin American countries, consider getting paid in U.S. dollars.
Insist on using a native-born translator. When translating copy or business communications, always hire a local translator who has technical knowledge of your products/industry. Embarrassing mistakes occur when a translation is done by a non-professional with limited knowledge of a language and little or no understanding of slang, colloquialisms and double-entendres. Prepare product/service literature, data sheets, catalogues, etc. in the principal languages of the major countries represented at the show. Remember that most countries outside the U.S. use metric measurements.
Judge the context. Some cultures are more direct and explicit in their communication. Swiss, German and Scandinavian cultures are considered low context. Their words have specific meanings. In contrast, Japanese, Chinese and Arabs are high context. Their language is often vague, inexact and confusing for English-speaking cultures to understand. Reading between the lines is a must.
Keep language simple. Many of your international business contacts will speak English. Problems occur when you use slang, colloquialisms, idioms, jargon, buzz words, lingo, officialese, acronyms, and metaphors. These are often difficult to translate. It is far more effective to keep communication, written and verbal, basic and easy for anyone to understand.
Learn to speak body language. Seventy percent of our communication is nonverbal. We communicate by the way we stand, sit, tense facial muscles, tap fingers, etc. There are also hundreds of gestures to get across almost any meaning, from greetings, beckonings, and farewells, to terms of endearment and insults. Gestures and body language, with the exception of smiling, are not universal in meaning. Be aware of the etiquette on personal space, eye contact and when, what and how to touch.
Make sure that your top executives are available. Overseas shows, particularly in European and Asian countries, are serious business as they focus on sales. Top-level management attend these shows expecting to place orders. They expect, and want, to deal with their counterparts in your company. They expect to spend time discussing technical details and will often want to close major deals on the show floor. Technical staff, sales people and in-country representatives will help form a complete team.
Nail negotiating. Negotiating in international business is extremely complex. Socializing is often considered essential to the negotiating process. Learn the cultural rules, especially as they relate to timing and how business is conducted. Patience is often a real virtue.
Offer quality and uniqueness. High quality products and services are expected, particularly when dealing with the Japanese and South Koreans. The packaging is as important as the product. If your products and services compete directly with native companies, there needs to be something unique in the technology, innovation, design, styling or image to gain acceptance in the Asian market.
Plan on having a third-party contact. Many Asian and Latin American cultures prefer to do business with people they know. Meeting the right people often depends on having the right introduction. If the person you wish to meet respects your intermediary, then chances are you too will be respected.
Question whether “no” really means “no.” Much confusion, frustration and irritation can occur when different cultures communicate real meaning. In some countries, such as France, “no” can often mean “maybe’ and “maybe” can mean “no.” In many Asian cultures, individuals will not say “no” outright. Rather, they use subtle clues, for example, saying “It’s very difficult,” or “I’ll consider it.” A “yes” or a nod of the head may very well mean “maybe” or “I understand,” instead of it being the affirmative response you might interpret. To avoid saying “no,” Koreans in particular will often give you the answer they think you want to hear. Learn to listen to the subtleties by asking open-ended questions. It is at times like these that a cultural mentor can be particularly helpful.
Recognize the role of women in business. Research the customs of the country you are visiting as they apply to women. Although female business travelers account for one of the fastest growing segments of the travel industry, problems still exist. Be prepared to prove yourself as you may not be taken as seriously as your male counterparts. Familiarize yourself with local and regional attitudes and cultural differences about women in business. This will help to define your approach and avoid potential problems and embarrassing situations. However, business overseas is based on trust and relationships. And women, like men, are responsible for creating the necessary rapport to accomplish their goals.
Supply all your company representatives with bi-lingual business cards. In Europe and Asian societies, business cards are essential. They act like a business passport. For countries where English is not widely spoken, have cards printed on the reverse side in the local language. This is best done in the country you are visiting. Also be aware of the specific etiquette that exists, particularly in Asian countries, for presenting cards. For example, in Japan, business cards are exchanged ceremoniously using both hands and a bow. Both parties will read and study the card. It is extremely impolite to write notes on the card or shove it in your pocket.
Train your people. Make sure that the people who represent your company at overseas shows are well trained and know and understand the cultural differences of the people with whom they will interact. They should know how to greet and address visitors. Formality is the norm in Europe, whereas a more casual and friendly style is acceptable in the U.S. Understanding different business negotiating styles, conversation sensitivities, and how women are treated in business, is essential, in addition to knowing eye contact, handshakes, body posture and spatial distance differences. The key is to develop relationships of trust and sincerity as they are critical for successful business.
Use ATM’s (Automated Teller Machines) to get local currency. They give you the wholesale exchange rate of 5-10%, which is a far better rate than you would get at hotels or currency exchanges. Always try to purchase enough local currency before leaving home to pay your transportation from your destination airport to your hotel, plus a little extra for tips.
Value different decision-making processes. The key is not to sell but rather to build relationships. Decision-making differs around the world. For example, in Asian cultures, it starts from the lower levels in the organization, and works its way up the ladder. Many times, lower level employees will visit a trade show to gather information, which they will include in a report to a higher manager. Don’t expect a decision from an initial meeting. Decisions are usually made collectively, and the process is often slow and thorough. However, once a decision is made, especially in Japan, a quick execution is expected. The key, once again, is to do your research.
Watch out for cultural differences. Know and understand the cultural differences of the people with whom you will interact. Be sensitive to color and symbols and their meanings in different countries. For example, mourning is symbolized by white in Asia, purple in Brazil and yellow in Mexico. If your product, packaging and literature are in the wrong color, you will lose sales. Red and yellow are lucky colors in China conversely, never use red printing in South Korea. In many of the Asian countries, the number four denotes death and should be totally avoided, including products packaged in fours. If possible, avoid the number nine, as it has connotations of suffering. Seven and eight are considered lucky. Be safe and always do your research!
Expect to follow-up personally. Personal contact and immediate follow-up after the show is the best way to establish foreign buyer/seller relationships to produce future orders.
Yield to a time investment. Building relationships is a key component to doing business overseas. Behavioral differences are real. It is wise to recognize them and to make allowances when doing business. Willingness to cultivate business contacts through personal visits plays a major role in export success. Plan regular visits to your major buyers, agents, or distributors. Be available, interested and quick to react to problems or complaints.
Zero in on the fact that doing business overseas demands time and patience. It may take several appearances at trade shows before your company is taken seriously. Foreigners want to feel confident that you are sincere and totally committed to your involvement in their country.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Written by Susan A. Friedmann,CSP, The Tradeshow Coach, Lake Placid, NY, author: “Meeting & Event Planning for Dummies,” working with companies to improve their meeting and event success through coaching, consulting and training. Go to http://www.thetradeshowcoach.com to sign up for a free copy of ExhibitSmart Tips of the Week.
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